The baby woke up at 5 after falling asleep at 00:40. So we got almost 4 straight hours which was great. Guðrún let me sleep while she breastfed but I woke a few times to change a diaper etc. The feeding lasted until 7:20 so I took our panda into the living room and rocked her to sleep and sang her a few songs. I don’t know many lullabies so I ended up singing pop. At first I didn’t want to sing morbid songs but most songs I know by heart are a bit sad so after a few "nice" songs I gave in an sang her I Will Follow You Into the Dark by Deathcab for Cutie and my god did I cry in the chorus it was like I understood the lyrics for the first time. I would actually do anything for my little girl and follow her into the scariest circumstances. It was a bit frightening and beautiful at the same time. All the feels with Panda that morning were amazing.
The nurse came to visit us nine and answered all of our questions. She made suggestions on the breastfeeding problems and weighed Panda which was a healthy 3,53 kg. Our little girl was doing good according to her. The consultation with the nurse was interesting as we started speaking in English but then she asked if it was OK to speak Danish. We said that would be fine if we could speak English so everything was a mix of the two. The thing that bothers me with that kind of communication is I tend to guess the meaning of words and that is not something that I want to do when I´m talking about the heath of my daughter, I missed a few details but thankfully Guðrún picked them up. Still, I need to ask more questions. So I and Guðrún were very happy when the nurse left and everything seemed great. But the feeding at around three pm was very difficult the baby cried and cried. Guðrún was losing it, she wanted to give up the whole idea of breastfeeding and said that she couldn´t do this. It was difficult. We decided I should go to the pharmacy and get a new nipple shield. I had to go to 4 stores to find the correct size and when I came home she was much cooler and she had managed to feed Panda. So we were all happier. We went for a walk and had a successful feeding when we got home.
In the evening we decided to watch Wonder together which made both of us cry. In the middle, of the movie, there was another difficult feeding but we got through it. Guðrún is taking the feeding difficulties hard. I try to be her rock but of course, it’s difficult especially when takes her frustration out on me. Not that I´m perfect in any way after the movie there was another difficult feeding and I didn´t do my part. I just sat down and stared off into the distance, which made it difficult for Guðrún to try and keep her cool.
Before we went to sleep we had a few ideas about what could be wrong and talked about our options. So I went to bed optimistict that we could solve these problems. I mean we had to, the past couple of days had been very difficult.
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